Month 1: Completed

 I thought in closing on the first chapter of the 12~30 experiment I'd share a couple statistics that I learned.  Did you know that About 17.6 million people in the United States-about one in every 12 adults-abuse alcohol or are alcoholic?!?!  It's amazing to me how many people are in need of numbing the pain... I mean it is and it isn't, right?!  And not to mention all the other millions of ways we choose to numb ourselves. Okay and this one really gets me :::Americans spend over $90 billion dollars total on alcohol each year.  I really am curious as to how much money in a year I spend on alcohol.  I can definitely say that my credit card bill is less for the month of January.

So now what???

well I'll continue to drink and enjoy my glasses of wine with a friend... but I'd like to spend the rest of this year being conscious of when I drink, how much I spend on alcohol, and also if I'm ever choosing to have it to numb something in me.

Almost there....

It's January 29th, which means today is day 29 of not drinking.  I must say the challenge for this month has been rather easy.  There really has only been a few moments where a drink would've been ideal.  I think what I'll take away from this month the most is to really think about whether or not I want that drink when I'm out... because truth for me is that I never really need it.  It's also been nice saving money while out to eat and not to mention I choose restaurants that are in the two star category when I'm not drinking.  Although it will be nice to go out to a nicer restaurant next month.  One other thing I noticed was the only time I really had to make a conscious choice not to drink was when I was out with others that were drinking.... AND maybe when I broke my wrist.

Pushing My Limits

Okay.... so.... I must be trying to really challenge myself this month.  Whatever I do I like to give a 100%...whether it be in sports, friendship, traveling, this experiment, or you name it.  I'm wondering if I just wasn't feeling challenged enough this month with not drinking, so I figured I'd up the anti by breaking something??!!??

so here I was playing softball.... doing what I do:::... I had just hit a tripple and was now on third base waiting for a hit to send me home.  the hit came and I ran hard... apparently a little too hard because when I hit home I ended up turning my run into a slide/roll... bracing myself with my wrist.  I got up happy to know I was safe and just feeling the burning slightly on my knees and side from the slide.  Walking back to the dugout I heard several, "oh my gosh! Are you ok?" Of course I said, "yeah, I'm fine!" Yet as I sat down I found my hands shaking... and I was still holding the bat from the previous hitter:::: so... my body was in a little bit of shock.

I finished the game playing three more innings, and even hitting another tripple... oh and I should mention I play first base, so most the plays come to me... and often the ball comes HARD!! After the game, which we ended up tying by the way... I walked over to give high-fives to the other team::: each one was like pain shooting through my body.  It was then I knew my hand wasn't really fine.  Let's just say If I've ever really wanted a drink this month... it was NOW!!!

The next day I went to the Dr. saying I don't think it's broken.  Several minutes later he walks back in with the X-rays and says, "Well, you've fractured your scaphoid." And then the memory came of 12 years ago when I did this on my left hand.  Annnnnnnd again I left ready for a drink.....

but the truth is my body is quite happy that I haven't been drinking as it's in better condition to tackle this healing... pain and all.

Oh and one more thing to add... typing takes forever, I'm like a chicken pecking away at each key.... A glass of wine right now sure would be nice...

What I'm really missing

It's January 18th... which means it's now been 18 days alcohol free.  What I'm continuing to notice is how many events I go to that include drinking.... and are just part of the natural routine.  But what I'm really missing... is splitting a bottle of wine with a friend!! Sitting and drinking water with someone at a restaurant just doesn't bring out the same experience.  This brings me to my next point...I really enjoy going out to dinner and making it an experience.  Starting off with a drink...  talking... sipping...talking... drinking....and then maybe ordering an appetizer...while still enjoying my drinks.... talking... and then maybe order a salad... another drink... at this point we are probably an hour and a half into the evening....  and then after the waiter/waitress has come over several hundreds of times I finally say I'm ready to order.  All and all it's around a 3 hour minimum experience.  Let's just say I haven't had anything like that in over 18 days and THAT is what I'm missing!!!  My dinner/lunch outings are lasting maybe 1 hour tops...and I mean tops!!! so ... so much for the dining experience... it's just not that fun right now.... so what am I supposed to do with this?? not sure yet.... 

What I've noticed

okay.... so it's been 11 days no with no alcohol.  In all honesty it's felt fairly easy to not drink.  There have only been a few exceptions to that..where I had a slight cringe - like in the airport when I found out my flight was delayed for over four hours (I mean doesn't that make anyone want to drink!)....  or when I  recently went out of town to visit a friend that's been grieving and she wanted to drink and instead I had to say I'm not drinking... I think I ordered 5 waters.... which made me really happy when the bill came!

thoughts so far:
I like how much money I'm saving
It's only in the moment I've felt bummed about passing on alcohol (wanting a glass of wine)
After dinner I'm happy about my decision not to drink
There is an element of social pressure that I just naturally drink when others are without thinking if I really want to or not.
Alcohol is expensive
I like not being woken up by wine in the middle of the night
Fine...I'm missing a glass of wine... okay....maybe two...

January::::

It's time to begin the experiment of the forming and breaking of habits. January is the month of no alcoholic beverages. Now the truth is I wouldn't say that alcohol has to be considered a bad habit and nor am I trying to start a debate on drinking or not drinking. In fact I wouldn't even say alcohol is a habit of mine. I mean I like to have a glass... or two of wine..okay okay sometimes three with a friend.  There's also the fun nights out or meeting a friend for a drink... So why the reason for taking out alcohol???.... well simply put alcohol has affected those I deeply care about in not so positive ways....AND I'm under the belief that it's healthy to look at what we put into our bodies and the effects they have on us... With that said, I wanted to take this month to examine the role that alcohol plays in my life. I'm curious as to what will come up for me.... What emotions will I feel when I'm out with a few friends and they are drinking and I choose to drink water?? Has any part of having a glass of wine when I'm out at a nice dinner simply become routine?? How has it affected my energy level and emotions? Will I miss it??? And not to mention I wonder how much money I will save by not drinking??

There are many more questions I have... but mostly I'm just curious to see what comes up for me.